Yaptos reflection: not losing sight of love

I think people get married for so many reasons.  They want to have their fantasy wedding come true, getting married can be a money saver (in some circumstances), they want to have kids and getting married is the first step, they don't want to be alone, everyone else is doing it, etc... Whatever reasoning is fine and dandy, but I believe some couples lose sight of love during the hustle and bustle of wedding planning and listening to what other people are saying rather than focusing on each other.   I'll shamefully admit that I've already caught myself on both counts.  But in defense of people who have been through this, there's A LOT involved in wedding planning... A LOT! And of course, we can't forget  that this is on top of everyday life like work, family, friends, and most importantly taking care of yourself and each other.  So it can be easy to forget about love. Oh geez, that sounds AWFUL. I'm so tempted to edit that horrible sentence, but I'm leaving it because there's no other way to put it.  So that's why I'm going to reflect on why I want to get married to my fiancé.

First and foremost, I warned Marc from the beginning that I wanted to be with him for a long time. I'm confident that would scare off most guys so early on in a relationship.  But I couldn't help it.  That's how I felt and I was going to express it without holding back.  But, surprisingly, Marc took it so well.  Turns out that he felt the same way.  Lucky me!  We both knew we were supposed to be together.  God meant for us to meet up again after 3 years of meeting the first time back in 2007 at an LPhiE and KPL social event at U of I.  He meant for Marc to facebook private message me (lol!).  He meant for US to happen. We fell in love so fast, and we couldn't wait to start our life together.  And look at us now.  We're engaged and wedding planning is taking over!

Although a princess wedding that every girl dreams of sounds amazing, it's totally unrealistic and definitely not what I want even if I could afford it.  Even though I'm not emotionally simple (oh, Marc knows this... and I thank him every day for dealing with my emotions so well), I'm certainly simple with material things.  I swear things started out so simple with a small wedding, everything DIY, possibly even just going to Vegas! Then we started getting into, "what does our family want? What do our friends want? What is acceptable in wedding traditions? How can we make this the best wedding partaaaay EVER?" .... and the list goes on.  Total reality check: weddings are just not simple no matter how simple you want them!

So I've taken a step back from all of this chaos to remind Marc why we are getting married in the first place.  No matter the circumstance with what others are saying, what kind of expectations others may have, whatever disagreements we have.... we're getting married because we are ridiculously in love.  We love each other to the point that we will do absolutely anything for each other, endure whatever for one another, sacrifice for each other,... we just want to be together officially.  Love has no costs, expectations, or judgments.  Love has no timeline and deadlines.  Love is dependable.  Love is forgiving.  No matter what we plan for our big day, the only detail that matters is that we will be husband and wife: Mr. & Mrs. Marc Yap.  We'll get through all of our hurdles to becoming one because we're just awesome like that ;) I love you!

Just reminiscing... New Year's Eve 2010

Photographers and how we chose ours.

As long as I have been a photographer, the biggest question people would ask of me was "Who's going to be YOUR photographer?"

For humor's sake, I'll write up some of what people have suggested to me:

"You should photograph your own wedding.  Ninja."
"Can't you hold up your arm and snap a picture at the altar?"
"Set up a dozen stop motion cameras."
"Set up a bunch of cameras at strategic locations on tripods...and remotely trigger them."  

While the joking was all good and fun, the question really isn't going to be easy to answer now that the moment has really arrived.

As one would expect, I'm more picky about photography than Eiffel is, and I really want the best for our own wedding.  As such here's a list of things that I'd like to put down in terms of criteria for the photographer whose work will appeal to Eiffel and me.

1.  Needs to shoot film.  My particular taste is pretty retro.  Retro shoes, hats, vests, suspenders.   It extends out into my own professional work with photography as well.  I love the colors of film.  It has a character that simply can't be duplicated with digital.

2.  Needs to capture moments.  A photographer (kudos if you know who it is) once said that there was no such thing as a perfect picture, only perfect moments.  The photographer that I would hire needs to be able to focus on capturing moments and emotions of the day - photojournalism.  I personally wanted a photographer that could anticipate moments that would occur during the most offbeat of times during the engagement shoot and the wedding day and be there to capture them.

3.  Can form a connection with their imagery.  Their work had to be inspiring not just to me, but to Eiffel as well.  It's easier for a photographer to connect with me since I know what to look for.  But for a photographer to emotionally connect with someone that isn't photographically trained was key to my preferences.  If the work of the photographer only appealed to me but was lacking emotional connection to Eiffel, what would it say about the photographer's work when we showed their images to our friends, family, and eventually our own children and grandchildren?

With help from Lydia of Ever Ours, we were referred to several photographers, one of whom definitely caught our eye.  He knew what moments to capture from weddings in his portfolio.  He connected with both Eiffel and me, and most importantly he shot film!

Without further ado, I present the photographer we've chosen:  Gabe Aceves!

You can find links to his work HERE and HERE.

I'm completely and totally excited to be working with Gabe as Eiffel has banned me from touching a camera during the wedding day...

Holy canoly, I'm getting married!

I remember the day I graduated from grad school. I stood there in line with my cohort and watched each one of them receive their diplomas, and it hit me: I'm getting my master's degree today!  It reminded me the reason why I went through all of the stress, had no sleep, and gained a ton of weight. lol

Yesterday, I was swimming with Candice and I had a similar feeling out of nowhere: I'm getting married next year!  Candice's reaction: "Umm... yeah Eiffel. You've been engaged for over a month now." Yes I know I've been engaged, but it didn't really hit me until now.  It's been so surreal. 

Through all of the trials and tribulations I've been through in my past, it lead to me to the person I've been looking for all my life.  As you get older, you learn more about yourself and become comfortable in your own skin.  I believe that during this time of growth, you also determine what you are searching for in a life long partner because you understand your own necessities, your personality, your strengths, and your flaws.  At the same time, you learn to stop looking for "Mr. Perfect" and search for "Mr. Right."  I'm not saying that I had an oversized list of my criteria in what my partner had to have... but once you meet someone and connect in a way that you thought only existed in love stories of corny movies that can only be concocted by creative writers, your heart strings start tugging to signalize, "Don't lose this one."  As Marc has told others, it was probably the closest thing to love at first sight.  The feeling was mutual :)

And by all means, our relationship is not perfect.  We just know/accept/understand each other's good and not so good.  It's when we get through the battle of the not so good, survive, and come out with a victory together is when we recognize THIS is love.  Elenor told me about the "80/20 Rule" from Tyler Perry's movie, Why Did I Get Married? Probably the best lesson I've ever learned about love.  Thank you Elenor and Tyler Perry! lol  What's the 80/20 Rule you ask?  Here it is:

Holy crap, I've gone off on a tangent.  Anyway, through the trials and tribulations of my past, it was all worth it to find THE ONE.  Marc, I can't wait to spend forever with you.  I love your 80 AND your 20... which basically means I love you 100%  ;-)

Reception Venue BOOKED!

Yesterday afternoon, Marc and I signed the contract and put down our first deposit for our reception venue!  We will be celebrating our marriage at Randall Oaks Golf Club on Sunday, September 2nd, 2012 (Labor Day weekend)!  Marc and I have been researching a variety of venues this past month, and we are so happy with our decision.  If you see Marc, ask him to show you his happy dance he did right before we signed the contract =).  Great deal, great location, great date... the whole shabang!

We're still in the middle of finalizing the church for the ceremony.  Now, we're just ironing out the details for the wedding photographer (whom we will soon announce! We promise!) and the venue for our engagement party!  After that, I'll be taking a break from the planning to wind down a bit and enjoy some me time and Marc time =)

For now, here's a couple pictures of me and Marc at Candice's 4th of July celebration :)

A little fuzzy, but still hilarious!

We match :) Yeah, we're nerds.